Week 6: Ain’t Nothing New Here

I reviewed, reconsidered and remote my DMP this week. I would imagine many of the MKMMA 2015 class did the same thing. It would have been hard not to after last weeks webinar.

For one thing, I realized after my guide and Davene’s feedback, I had written one thing but said something completely different about my PPN’s. What I believed to be the drivers are in fact not what comes from the depth of my heart.

“…out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”

Matt 12:34

So what I wrote for my PPN’s (Spiritual Growth and Helping Others) was not reflected in the words that poured from my heart and onto the page. In my heart, the rejection of my PPN’s based on the words that I wrote really pissed me off when I read the words my guide wrote. Who the hell is she to tell me I don’t know what I really want? I sent a response asking her why she felt that way? Why would she questions what I think is in my heart?

Call in the reinforcements! The next email came with comments about my DMP from Davene. I mean, jeez, really? Davene told me that what I wrote was not what I believed it to be. And while you might think my first reaction was “Well, if Davene thinks it’s different, she must be right!”

Not so much…

It was just one more reason to bail on this whole thing. That’s where my old man nature brought me. Obviously they didn’t understand me! They must not like me! In fact, I should let others know how little they actually know about the stuff they are teaching me! WTF! Then I saw this post from a friend on Facebook:

narcissist-viewsIf there is a more accurate assessment of my old man nature, I don’t know what it might be. This is the spot where my personal life’s shortcomings become everyone else’s fault and everyone else’s problem, too. I used to lash out at those who “misunderstood me.” It didn’t matter that what I said made no sense, was based on false premise or was specifically sculpted to make sure nobody could understand what I was saying!

Thank God, life has brought much change. Our God is a Big God. He has no limits. And even at my worst, God was there cheering me on to make the right decision. It didn’t matter that I was unable to make the right next step – God knew I could make the right step! It was His belief in me that eventually allowed me to overcome this dark spot in my life. Joyce Meyers once said “You can’t be selfish and happy at the same time.” So this time, instead of taking the negative route, I asked myself a simple question: If my guide is the expert, who am I to second guess her wisdom? And what does it say about my “coachability” if she felt she needed to bring in the big gun?

So it’s time to reset and restart. I will be humble. I will learn to listen. I will more carefully follow the instructions. Let’s see what happens…

Week 5: Where the Rubber Meets the Road

I’m in. 100%. Like it or not, I am moving forward. I have the the webinar link for this Sunday to prove it.

This was an impossible decision. More of why will be revealed next week, but I have had a very difficult week and the idea of saying “See ya'” crossed my mind in more than a casual way. I spoke at length with other students, a grad and finally I had a good conversation with God. In the end, it was this passage from Psalm 19 that helped me decide:

  1. The instructions of the LORD are perfect, reviving the soul.
    The decrees of the LORD are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
  2. The commandments of the LORD are right,
    bringing joy to the heart.
    The commands of the LORD are clear,
    giving insight for living.
  3. Reverence for the LORD is pure,
    lasting forever.
    The laws of the LORD are true;
    each one is fair.
  4. They are more desirable than gold,
    even the finest gold.
    They are sweeter than honey,
    even honey dripping from the comb.
  5. They are a warning to your servant,
    a great reward for those who obey them.

So here I am Lord. Show me from within the love that Mark, Davene and the entire crew and coaches of MKMMA your perfect instructions. 1 Kings 19:11 & 12 tells me that you aren’t in the winds, or the earthquakes or the roaring fire. You are in the still small voice. Where better can I learn to hear that voice but in the SIT everyday that I find so onerous!?! And where, Dear Lord, can I find it more convenient to study and see Your Hand & Your Greatness, than in focusing on my Divine Major Purpose? And how better my life would be to serve others if I gain the Liberty that I seek?

So here I am, dear friends along the Way, learning, growing and convincing my subconscious that the heart of God can indeed be found through the works of man and the commitment of His children.

MKMMA Week 4: Turmoil from without won’t stop the drive from within

I believe there is evil in the world, and that the battle ground for spiritual well being is waged in the mind. I know God wants me to be abundant, healthy and filled with joy (3 John 1:2). I also know that the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).

So there is little surprise that in the midst of a class designed to help me find my DMP (which I have labeled my Divine Major Purpose) everything that could come at you to keep you from your goal has been raining down on me this week. While the list seems endless, the two that hit me where I believe I can be most vulnerable are worth a little explanation.

First, I am swamped with work. I have so much I need to accomplish and so little time to get it all done. Thanks for all the new cards, new reads and new things to do this week, Mark. I had so much free time already, clearly I can add even more time to my MKMMA commitment. I spent a few good hours asking myself do I have what it takes to finish this class? Am I giving it the 100% that was asked of us in this weeks webcast? Hell no! And now there’s more? How can a reasonable person come close to getting this done? My network marketing business has turned into a hobby as it is, and after taking Go90Grow, I certainly have no excuses for that behavior. Where do my priorities lie? My self development or my team?

Next, my traditional business is growing and the receivables aren’t keeping up with the expenses right now. Every dime seems to be precious, which of course is total crap. My Father has cattle on a thousand hills! I never need to worry about money – I only need to believe the promises He has made. But of course, this week is particularly tight because one of my larger invoices I expected to see in my mailbox was replaced by an email telling me they need a “few more weeks” in order to pay my bill. Of course, the very next thing I did was take this weeks survey and read about the Pay It Forward scholarship requirements and, as you can imagine, my mind overtook my believing and my sub-conscious and I had an absolute “out” of MKMMA.

Thankfully, I spoke with my business partner who turned me on to all this to begin with, and here I stand ready to take on the next step. Last week was all about resilience. This week needs to be about persistence.

MKMMA Week 3: Resilience comes from within

This week I saw an article titled “The one quality all successful people have in common” (Mashable). Given the nature of MKMMA, I stopped the presses and quickly read the article, expecting some great nuggets to find their way into my hungry psyche.

The article is about resilience, and the author has obviously exhibited it in their past. But what I found most interesting is the complete lack of a spiritual component to the writing or thinking. It reminded me of Mark J talking about why so many people fail in Network Marketing – because we deceptively believe that people care about the three things we love to talk about: our Plan, our products, and our people. But most of us (when 100% honest) didn’t sign up because of “the plan.” We signed up because something in the presenter made us believe we could do it. Hell, when I signed up for Market America, I really had no clue that in order to be successful, I would have to grow teams of people . . . and that’s not anyone’s fault! I just heard what I needed to hear to believe – nothing else really mattered.

In recovery I have come to grips that until you believe in something greater than yourself, your life is likely to remain in the bog of narcissistic misery. Bodies of water that never release the water grow stagnate and fill with toxic waste. Always demanding to get and never learning to give puts you in the toxic wasteland of a life destined to disappoint. At my worst, I made it a habit to make sure I was never happy by raising the bar of expectation anytime someone who loved me came close to clearing the existing height. That way I would insure I lived the life of a victim! Oh poor me, nobody ever makes me really happy.

Freedom and resilience are the result of goals that come from a place outside my self seeking personality. In my Higher Power I find hope, eternity and calling to fulfill a greater good that establishes in my heart and makes fills me in ways that go beyond the physical and pour over into real fulfillment. I believe there is an eternity awaiting me more glorious than I can imagine. It’s a promise in His Word.

But when my eyes flutter for the last time and the night envelopes me for the sleep before the sounding trumpet, I believe I will be able to close them knowing “This was a life well lived.”

I always keep my promises” -Jeff Carter

MKMMA Week 2: Repeat After Me . . . I Always Keep My Promises

In order to help yourself meet your own expectations, we need to find a way to drive home a simple principle that most of us simply take for granted: My word is my bond.

In reflecting on parts of my life, I can honestly admit that the likelihood of my keeping my promises is around 50%. Probably lower. Mary Poppins once said “That’s a piecrust promise. Easily made, easily broken” and certainly it is indicative of the live I lead for many, many years.

Since my recovery in 2003, I have never hid my addiction. I am brutally honest about my past and the man I once was.

But that’s not me today. But that’s a post for another time.

For today, I am learning to read the words “I promise . . . I always keep my promises” with depth and meaning. I am working to see in those words a promise to myself that I believe. I close my eyes and see my first chore “Start my 2015 QB year end” as having been completed. I exceeded my goal by not only starting, but hiring someone to do it permanently, a task I should have paid for years ago.

Next week, I will add another post to my blog, update my DMP and read the scrolls faithfully. Why?

I always keep my promises.

MKMMA Week 1 Begins Here!

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I have been anticipating MKMMA since I first watched a friend go through the program last year. While the changes in her weren’t immediately apparent, the excitement of her involvement was over the top every Monday. Within weeks she began promoting my involvement in the next class by “making me” read the 7 day diet, sign up for Go90Grow, commit to Think & Grow Rich and then started her discussion of MKMMA at every opportunity.

Now we’ve started. and while I thought I was excited about MKMMA – I underestimated it. I have a lot of reasons to see MKMMA as the next great step in my rediscovery.

I sobered up 12 years ago and began reconnecting with my Higher Power who I felt had abandoned me in my times of need.

I began working the 12 steps of AA  and thus began to mend my heart and my mind along with my spiritual reconnection with God.

I came to grips with my short comings, began taking an inventory of my soul and my brain and I dived into the service work that is the spiritual conclusion of having worked the steps.

Recently I have been going through dramatic changes in my life, work and finances. So the timing of MKMMA could not have been more perfect and more inconvenient. I know what Mark J would say – you have plenty of time. Sure I do. Between 3 and 4 am, I don’t have anything scheduled. (All this week, anyway). But this commitment to making ME is more important than anything else, because my long term goals are more important than my work, building my businesses or watching playoff baseball or professional football.

It all seems so small when you write it that way, doesn’t it?

So Peace begins the journey and off I go.